Had run hot in staking - has risks associated. Prime example below - basicaaly cliffs are I bought decent size stake in someone who isnt going to even play event as busto mine and others cash elsewhere - sick :(
Was starting to look fishy then below today ............
I know an explanation has been due for a while. I've completely avoided 2+2 and this thread up to now; I didn't want to face the reality of the situation, but I realize now the truth is the very least I can offer everyone.
A week or two before the start of FTOPS, I made a trip to AC. After ending down the night gambling, I went back to my room and played online and lost there too. Started to chase losses by martingaling HUSNGs until I was playing multiple 2ks. Ended down that night between 10-15k, the majority of which was backer money.
Since then, I lost even more money trying to cover the hole I was in playing cash, MTTs outside of the package, and live. I borrowed some money from family and a couple friends, and created another package to buy time for myself. I think part of me really believed that I was going to get out of the mess I had gotten myself into, that I had plenty of shots of bink a decent cash that would take care of everything. Of course, I managed to nearly airball both series while losing the rest of my money and then some. By the time my last attempts at running up money failed, it was several days after the package ended, backers' money was gone, and I was dead broke and in debt.
The fact that I was capable of doing something so colossally stupid, that I was capable of having such disregard for my own money and, more importantly, those of my backers probably means that I probably lack the necessary discipline poker requires, and that I may have a real gambling problem. Even though I feel like I've learned from this experience, and that I would absolutely never do anything like this again, I know that it's already too late. I can't turn back the clock, no matter how much I want to. My money is gone. The money invested to me is gone. I abused the trust everyone placed in me, and for that I rightfully won't ever be trusted again.
I have no excuses and accept complete responsibility for what I've done. I want more than anything to be able to pay everyone right now, but I don't have the ability to at this point. Though I am no longer playing poker, I've started working a part-time job and expect to make something like $250/wk depending on my hours. My other time has been spent studying to pursue further schooling, after which I hopefully can secure a career that will, among other things, enable me to pay this debt off faster. For now, it will be a hard grind paying back the $15k+ I owe. I have bills to pay (including a lot of cc debt) like everyone else, and my income right now is small. However, every dime that I can spare will be used to pay back everyone. I will be getting my first paycheck in slightly more than a week and will make a payment back at that time.
I want to offer my sincerest apologies to everyone who got caught up in this. I never meant for all of this to happen, and I will do what I can to set things the way they should be.