THATS POKER

Within 10 mins of each other

16k GTD

early doors me BB k5 flop k 9 5 i bet pot every street turn 2 all in before riv v KQ for 5k he hits river Q and Im out.

3K GTD multi

3 prizes i play well and am chip leader into the money - 3 prizes - then i raise from sb v small stack who puts me in and i am committed with qj and gutted to see his cards - he shows kk and a 9 high flop with no draws is not promising however turn j gives me hope and j riv hits me a most unlikely win. I am big chip leader and go on to win 1500$.

JOKES FROM BETFAIR FORUM

Couple that made me chuckle today :-
1)
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sexx 3 times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.After the show, Cilla says,"Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sexx with yer. Lets go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun. So they went back to her place and got comfortable After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sexx together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand". Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says "Okay" He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sexx than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem honey".Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?" Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet !"

2) A dwarf walks into a bar and he slips over a piece of turd on the floor, he walks off thinking nothing of it. A few minutes later a huge man walks in a falls over the same piece of turd, the little dwarf shouts out "I just did that!" So the big man kills him.