Nicked from Betfair forum as usual.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar enjoying a drink after a hard day working away from home.
“You know,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there’s a wee bar called McManus’. The landlord there really knows how to look after the regulars. After you’ve bought 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you.”
“Reminds me of my old local, the Black Horse,” said the Englishman, “the guvnor there always gave me my third drink free.”
“That’s nothing,” said the Irishman. “Back home in Dublin there’s O’Malley’s Bar. As soon as you get through the door they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you’ve had plenty of drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.”
“Fantastic,” said the Englishman, “and did this actually happen to you?”
“Not me, personally, no,” said the Irishman “but it did happen to my sister!”