A very loud, fat, greasy, unattractive, chav type woman wearing a Sunderland top walked into ASDA in the toon with her two umpalumpa kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning Madam, and welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'
The ugly fat woman stopped yelling long enough to say, Whye na, they're not twins yer ****. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the ell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, thick, stupid or just a cheese eater?
' 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam,' replied the greeter, 'I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice'. 'Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA'.