WORST FEELING IN MY POKER CAREER in 15K

Made final table of the 15k where the prizes are top heavy and was doing well sitting in 3rd with 9 left.

Luther pushes all in for 35k and I had 70k and call - delighted to see my QQ leads his JJ and 4 ten and under cards on the turn - 10 9 7 2 I think - no J or 8 on riv for chip lead - out comes the 8 - so instead of big chip lead ( 4.5k$ prize for winner ) Im back down the filed in 7th.

Then battle back up to 4th again with 7 left - I have AA Possy 1 and raise to 8100 when blinds are 1500 and 3000. Only caller is BB

Flop comes 10 9 7 which is scary but when he bets all in ( has me covered ) Im certain he is not in front - pretty sure he would check raise any 2 pair or trips or straight anticipating me making continuation bet.

I call and he has Ace 9 so another ace wont help him - river comes one of the 2 9s left in the pack for an 85000 pot which would put me chip leader again.

Out 7th never has $525 been most unwelcome .......

1st 4500$
2nd 3000$
3rd 1785$

Above prizes are to put in perspective why I am so gutted. I would say with chip lead I would have said I was minimum 50% to get in the top 2 .

All i do on this blog is rant at the moment but you have to with things like that.

I am 81% to win 1st hand and 88% to win the second.

Chuffing 2% chance i lose both.

I Wont sleep for some time !

I hit a river with 40 left in when I would have been out so I need to change my mindset to I got lucky to get 525$ but them final table beats will haunt me for a long time.

ps im sick of 7th at final table my last 3 final tables and I think 7th in them all